Tuesday, June 03, 2008

Complaint Letter About The River Church

[Note...Make sure you read all the way to the end!!]

The only thing worse than being ignorant is not knowing how ignorant you are. That's The River Church's problem. The first thing I want to bring up is that The River Church can't possibly believe that the rigors that its victims have been called upon to undergo have been amply justified in the sphere of concrete achievement. It's conscienceless but it's not that conscienceless. In The River Church's quest to engender ill will it has left no destructive scheme unutilized. The River Church wants nothing less than to convince impressionable young people that every word that leaves its mouth is teeming with useful information. Its deputies then wonder, "What's wrong with that?" Well, there's not much to be done with tasteless riffraff who can't figure out what's wrong with that, but the rest of us can plainly see that I've repeatedly pointed out to The River Church that it is at least partially right in that I pledge -- in my daily life, in my family, my work, my community, my country, and my region -- to counteract the subtle, but pervasive, social message that says that human life is expendable. That apparently didn't register with it, though. Oh, well; I guess The River Church should think about how its adages lead nasty wheeler-dealers to welsh on all kinds of agreements. If The River Church doesn't want to think that hard, perhaps it should just keep quiet.

According to The River Church's distortions, distractions, and outright deceptions, The River Church has been robbed of all it does not possess. Fortunately, most of the people who are seriously interested in preserving our civilization know that the reality is that when it comes to The River Church's machinations, I definitely aver that we have drifted along for too long in a state of blissful denial and outright complacency. It's time to improve the lot of humankind. The sooner we do that the better because we can never return to the past. And if we are ever to move forward to the future, we certainly have to supply the missing ingredient that could stop the worldwide slide into fetishism.

In spite of all The River Church has done, I must admit I really like the organization. No, just kidding. The River Church says that it could do a gentler and fairer job of running the world than anyone else. What balderdash! What impudence! What treachery! If The River Church were to get its hands on the levers of power it'd immediately displace meaningful discussion of an issue's merit or demerit with hunch and emotion. If you don't believe me then consider that we must explain a few facets of this confusing world around us. Only then can a society free of its ruthless rodomontades blossom forth from the roots of the past. And only then will people come to understand that its methods are much subtler now than ever before. It is more adept at hidden mind control and its techniques of social brainwash are much more appealingly streamlined and homogenized. Lastly, the dynamics of the situation are such that The River Church's apothegms bespeak a spiritual crassness, a materialistic and short-sighted stupidity that will test another formula for silencing serious opposition sooner or later.

Wow...I knew we were questionable, but I didn't know we were THAT bad!

Actually, that was an automatic complaint letter generated from this site. Fun stuff.

HT - Mark Bjorlo


At 8:46 AM, Blogger Ben said...

I think I'm going to have to go home and rest after reading that...my head hurts.

At 9:08 AM, Blogger Corey said...

The best part is, on the website you can generate up to 10 paragraphs!!

At 2:34 PM, Blogger Erik said...

it looks like a Thesaurus exploded and landed in your post.

At 11:09 AM, Blogger Mr. F said...

Wow, I have no idea what I just read. I started to question the authorship when it said the word "organization" in relation to The River. Anyone who has ever attended would agree that "organization" is not something The River would ever be accused of.


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