Friday, January 06, 2006

Still Learning

Being a disciple of Jesus matters most where it is the hardest. For some people, that means that the 8-10 hours they spend working is the most significant and important place for them to manifest the person and presence of Jesus. And this doesn't mean being the annoying Christian Guy at work who is always quoting Bible verses and inviting people to repentance. This means representing the character of Jesus in all things. For students, maybe the hardest place to live as a disciple of Jesus is at school with all of the pressures of friends, classes, etc.

For me this week, the hardest place was at home. I've found that when I get stressed, I get angry and unfortunately, home was the place that I let it out this week. My wife has been sick for the past couple of days leaving me with the responsibility of taking care of our 31/2 year old and 9 month old. They've been fairly out of control during this time, which makes it more difficult. But instead of taking joy in serving my wife and family (and isn't being a servant the highest calling of a follower of Jesus?) I have been stressed and upset about all of the work that I have to do. Instead of blessing and serving them, I have hurt them by being angry and frustrated too much of the time, thereby making everything even worse.

So the question that I'm asking myself (and that all of us should ask ourselves when taking stock of how we react during the times when being a disciple is hardest) is what needs to change in me in order to have the capacity to manifest Jesus at the hardest times? What practices, disciplines, attitudes, and perspectives do I need to invite Jesus into to in order to dramatically transform the way I naturally respond when life throws a wrench into my plans? I'll do some more reflecting and let you know later what I come up with.

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