Hurting God

Eph 4:30 And do not bring sorrow to God'’s Holy Spirit by the way you live. Remember, he is the one who has identified you as his own, guaranteeing that you will be saved on the day of redemption. (NLT)

This passage is dropped right in the middle of Paul's urgent plea to stop lying and stealing, and to get rid of attitudes of bitterness, rage and anger. What struck me as I read it is that God's perspective on those attitudes and actions is not anger, but sorrow. He grieves when I stray from his desires for me.

Have you ever thought about what it means that God grieves, that God experiences sorrow and sadness when we sin? It means, for one thing, that God is not cold and unfeeling, untouched by us. It means that he's not the angry God waiting to smite me. It also means that what we do actually affects God. He experiences emotions, both joy and sorrow. It means that a relationship with God can actually be a relationship, a real relationship where both sides can hurt the other; a real relationship where there are misunderstandings and mistakes that cause real pain.

Why is it that I could choose to change attitudes and behaviors in order to not hurt my wife or my kids or my friends (or even perfect strangers), but the thought of becoming someone different because I don't want to hurt Jesus never crosses my mind? Shouldn't Jesus be the one person that, above all, I don't want to hurt? I mean, I've already caused him such pain and sorrow. Do I really want to do any more to hurt him?

This perspective changes how I view repentance as well. I'm no longer simply repenting for breaking God's seemingly arbitrarily instituted rules. Certainly there is a need to repent of what was done. But maybe even more than the specific things that I've done, I'm repenting for the pain and sorrow that I've caused the one to whom I've supposedly dedicated my life.

Additionally, forgiveness is a little different. It's bigger. When God forgives me, he's not just forgiving those actions that I have done. He is able to move beyond his pain and sorrow and grief to extend his offer of grace and mercy and love. It's not some kind of stoic transaction: I say I'm sorry, he forgives me. He is really hurt, and yet even through that pain he is always willing to forgive. This just makes the whole picture of redemption even more beautiful.

The challenge for us comes with the last verse of the passage. Given this picture of Jesus' forgiveness and grace through his pain...

Eph 4:32 Be kind to each other, tenderhearted, forgiving one another, just as God through Christ has forgiven you. (NLT)